Star Wars Episode 1 - The Phantom Menace Edit Notes

I was really disappointed with the Star Wars Prequels. In fact, I decided to edit the screenplays before "Revenge of the Sith" even hit the theaters, such that I could "see" the movies I had wanted to see since I was a kid.

In tackling the task of "script doctoring," I had two rules:

1. Respect George Lucas' creation - he is the creator, and so maintaining as much of his creation as possible is the goal. The overall story should be retained, but dialogue, how the characters get from point a to point b, deleting fluff, making more overt connections to the future sequels (eps 4,5,6), and other enhancements that make the prequels actually work is game. Lucas needed someone like me to do this at Skywalker Ranch, and not the yes-men he obviously had at hand - he needed someone to say: "Look, George, you created a wonderful and rich world here, but it doesn't quite work. I know you're an action sequence guy, so how about this - I retain your action sequences and fix the filler?" Lucas hates writing, by his own admission, and it shows.
2. Anakin could NOT become Darth Vader because of a woman. From the first scene between Anakin and Padme in Episode 1, I thought: "No, George, don't make him turn because of a girl!" Unfortunately, George turned one of the meanest, badass villians in cinema history into a pussy-whipped whiner. He could've spent the time to build the psychology of a hero turned psychotic mass-murderer, and instead took the easy and cliched way out.

Specific to Episode 1 (as much as I can remember)...

• I wanted to understand why there was a conflict on Naboo - it just seemed to be happening in the film. Why Naboo? So, I used George's heavy taxes on trade routes, but the Trade Federation selects Naboo to blockade because it has raw materials vital to the Republic. I also liked George's idea of symbiotic relationships between the Naboo and the Gungans, and so I made this connection even more apparent with the idea of mining these precious raw materials. If you don't set things up so they make sense, you lose the audience right from the start.
• This is supposed to be Episode 1, and yet we jump right in with no set-up for Jedi, Force, Sith, etc. I use a few scenes to introduce the idea of the Force, both the light and dark sides.
• Jar Jar isn't as annoying - he is a Gungan spy, so he actually has some useful skills, even though he still is comic relief. He pilots the bongo through the caves calmly (this piloting skill comes back later)
• The Queen should stay on Naboo with her people, instead of high-tailing it out of there like a coward (even if the Queen is just a decoy). This not only makes more sense from a heroic standpoint, but is a much better fake-out on the Trade Federation. Sio Bibble comes with instead to negotiate with the Senate (and the Queen herself in disguise as Padme)
• Qui-Gon knows it's her the whole time, while Obi-Wan is fooled.
• The Sith track their movements via spilled hyperdrive fuel, not because Padme stupidly calls home and is traced. More scenes for Darth Maul to show he's a badass.
• When the Jedi arrive on Tatooine, they sense a "Convergence" in the Force - they sense Anakin - and it is something very rare and important. Immediately, Tatooine becomes about finding Anakin - NOT about getting parts to repair the ship.
• The Sith feel Anakin as well, and call him a "Divergence" in the Force. The Sith want him too - so the stage is set for a showdown between Dark and Light over Anakin.
• The Convergence/Divergence in the Force is overwhelming to the Jedi - it kind of screws up their senses a bit - which explains why the Jedi are unable to sense the danger right under their noses through the prequels!
• We know more of what the Trade Federation is doing back on Naboo to the people - prison camps, etc. They seemed pretty harmless in the film, because we didn't see the stakes.
• Midachlorians are retained! I know, huge risk, but the payoff is huge in both Episode 2 and 3 - trust me.
• Anakin isn't as annoying, but comes off as much more clever and smooth.
• Anakin knows he is racing to not only help his new friends, but he is racing to win his freedom - again, it hugely raises the stakes for our hero, and gives the audience a reason to cheer the pod race!
• More tension with the approaching Dark Side - we want to feel our Jedi heroes feeling Darth Maul getting closer and closer. Jar Jar even has a moment to shine, using his spy skills.
• The reveal of Padme as Queen happens in the Senate, with Sio Bibble introducing her.
• Jar Jar and Padme forshadow the eventual alliance between Naboo and Gungan.
• The Gungan "secret hiding place" is the ruins of a Sith Temple. Anakin wanders off and has an experience here - similar to the vision that Luke has in Episode 5 (in a Sith Temple, we now realize). There is evidence that training has recently occurred there. We know that Palpatine is the Sith Lord (though the Jedi don't), and Palpatine is from Naboo - so having an ancient Sith Temple on Naboo makes sense, and linking it with Episode 5 brings the two trilogies together into a coherent whole. I also like showing that the Sith have been around for a long time - it builds the mythology.
• Big change - Anakin stays with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan as they fight Maul - he stays back, while Jar Jar pilots the ship to destroy the mothership. Two reasons: Jar Jar becomes a Representative of Naboo, and needs to be a hero. Second: we need to see Anakin use the Force, and having set him up as the prize between Jedi and Sith, he needs to be there when they are fighting over him.

Hope you enjoy the screenplay!